This actually happened.

(Part 3 in the Kara series.)

(OK, this may not be 100% SFW. Sorry.)

For some reason, Kara decided she had a thing for one of my supervisors at Tower Records, Andy. I couldn't stand him, but his brother Rob was also a coworker and a DJ at one of the local gay bars. Andy wasn't gay and seemed to be on a quest to prove it to the world. 

Kara came into the record store one day and invited me over to her apartment for a small get together later that night. I was working the video counter, as usual, and she said, "Hey, can you rent movies cheap?"

 "Yeah, I can rent anything for fifty cents," I told her. 

 "Excellent! Bring a porno!"

Let it be said that Tower Records had the largest porn selection in the greater Lansing area at the time, both video and magazine. I was a naive 18 year old back then, but I quickly learned more than anybody needs to know about the myriad porn magazines and fetishes thereof. Though I had to strategically place stickers over the boxes of the porn VHS tapes (am I dating myself?), I had never actually watched a porno. I was more fascinated with doing my own sociological study in my head of the people that bought and rented this shit than the product itself. (Let me tell you, you learn a LOT about people and can become a great people reader when you're a porn clerk.) But I digress.

At the end of my shift I grabbed Bobby, a gay coworker and friend of mine and Kara's, and invited him to Kara's party that night. I told him my dilemma that I had no idea what to pick out.

"Well, does she want a gay porn or a straight porn?" he asked.

"Um ... probably a straight one, as Andy's gonna be there," I said.

"Oh well, hell, I don't know either! Just go to the straight section, close your eyes, twirl around, and point at something." So that's exactly what I did.

I brought to Kara's party a video entitled, "Electric Sex."

To be honest, I don't even remember the details of this, uh, "movie." It was a small get-together, with Kara and I being the only two females there. Andy, his gay brother Rob, and gay Bobby were the only guys. Bobby and I got really drunk and I do remember him exclaiming very loudly,

"So THAT'S what a vagina looks like!"

... and really, after a hilarious moment like that, nothing else is worth remembering.

As Kara had deviously planned, she and Andy hooked up that night. I, unfortunately, passed out on the couch and had to hear much of their ... escapades ... through the wall. 

Awkward. Yes, that was our relationship. 

Kara and Andy were "together" for a grand total of about two weeks. 

These are only a few of my memories of Kara. There are more, all equally awkward, but I'll save them for another time. 

Fast forward to a few years later ...

A year or so down the road, Kara got knocked up, stopped stripping, declared bankruptcy, and had to give up the Harley. I've always been rather proud of myself for never giving into her peer pressure. 

The last time I saw her was about four or five years ago. She had a beautiful little girl and was getting married to a guy who was not her "sperm donor" (as she so eloquently calls her baby daddy). I was at a little summer get-together at their house. We lost touch after that, and last I looked her up online, she was married, but not to the guy she was going to marry when I last saw her. Always in love with music, I discovered she’s got a cover band and we’ve actually got quite a few friends in common on Facebook. 

I’m rather disappointed that for someone with the musical talent she has that she’s only in a cover band, but I’m not surprised. Though Kara had always tried to be original in every way, I think she’s found comfort in the familiar.  

Given our musical social circles, I’m more surprised we haven’t crossed paths in so long.  I haven't reconnected with her on any social networks, and I'd rather keep it that way. Not because I have anything against her, but I'd rather leave our awkward relationship in the past.