This actually happened.

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    My First (and only) Time at an Indian Restaurant

    (Part 2 in the Kara series.)

    Kara had a knack for introducing me to new cuisine. She begged and pleaded with me to go to this new Indian restaurant with her. Though I had many Indian friends in high school, I was unfamiliar with Indian food, and decided to give it a shot, even though I clearly remembered what happened the LAST TIME she introduced my stomach to something exotic.

    As we walked into the restaurant, she quickly scoped the room out and said to me, "Okay, where can we sit where we're not going to offend anyone?"
     
    At least she was cognizant of this caveat in our relationship.
     
    We asked to be seated in an empty booth toward the back of the restaurant. The one we sat in was directly outside the flapping kitchen doors.
     
    Not knowing what to order, she ordered something for me.  Shortly after we were served and I was trying to figure out why my chicken was both green AND on a stick, she broke the silence in a way that only she had the talent.
     
    "So ... have you seen my nipples lately?"
     
    I choked a bit on my green chicken and replied, "What -- are they lost?"
     
    I wish that would have been all to what happened at that moment, but no. This is my life.
     
    Just as that exchange between us was taking place, a waiter who was coming out of the flappy kitchen doors, right next to our booth, overheard us and DROPPED HIS ENTIRE TRAY OF FOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR.
     
    This actually happened.
     
    So much for sitting somewhere where we wouldn't offend or otherwise shock anyone.
     
    We casually looked over at the poor Indian waiter, now red in the face for a couple of reasons, and saw that others had already rushed to help him clean up the mess.
     
    "So, what about your nipples?" I continued the conversation as if nothing ever happened.
     
    "Oh, I got them pierced," she said.
     
    "Really? Huh... ever plan on having kids?"
     
    "Shut up."
     
    We moved onto the next topic.
     
    Shortly thereafter, I found out that I can't handle Indian food, either. I made a mental note to not let Kara introduce me to any new cuisines anymore.
    Tags » Indian food Kara series nipples
    • 4 September 2011
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